Tower of London

Tower of London

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Things I Won't Miss About London

I am getting ready to go home tomorrow. While I am going to miss London terribly, there are a few things I will be glad to leave when I get on the plane.

Before I start, a short note to London: I really do love you and no place is perfect. But, let's be honest here. I have a much longer love list than this. And besides, everyone back home wants to hear the dirt. So let's give them a little something before I leave!

* Being shouldered every time I am on the street. (Remember, we are being honest here London and the people here are just downright aggressive. I swear I have permanent bruises on my shoulders. There is no need for that. Play nice.)

* The lack of vegetables. (I used to adore cheese. And I was a fan of bread and meat. However, I now realize that vegetables are really the thing that keeps us going. So London, how is it possible you are not the nation with the most deaths from heart disease. Really. It is an honest question. I was only served vegetables with one meal the whole time I was here and that was not for a lack of me trying to order them. So what's the deal? Are the crops on strike?)

* Sandwiches. (Really, there are millions of other foods in the world. I know this is a commuter town and everyone is on the go, but please. If I see one more sandwich in the next million years I am seriously going to hurl. See the above as well. They go hand in hand. A nice big veggie salad never hurt anyone.)

* Unrefrigerated food and warm drinks. (Okay, I know I raved about the food my first few days in, but I may have been a bit hasty. I miss cold drinks like I miss my husband. I can't get back a minute too soon for a nice ice cold gallon of water.)

* Having to push buttons and slide cards to be let out of doors. (Remember that episode of Monk where he caught the criminal because he stopped before walking out the door and he knew that the guy had been in prison. It's just like that. I am going to have to keep low when I get home so I don't get fingered as an ex-con!)

* The worthless value of my dollar.

* The customer service in restaurants. (Don't even try and deny it-it was horrendous! It was so bad it was almost laughable except for that night at Giraffe. That service was so bad it was offensive. I miss our values of customer service back home. Get ready folks, give me good service when I get home and their is a HUGE tip in your future!)

* Having to run to a million stores to do what I can do in one store at home. (Okay, so everyone knows I love supporting small business owners, but this is really too much. Nothing is next to one another and there is no car to put it in when you are done. Target, here I come!!!)

* Public love sessions. (I get the whole in love in London thing, but really? Remember that dignity I spoke of earlier-it's running out the door hoping you will catch it.)

* Always being late to our appointments. (I know this is not London's fault and it is tough to get a group of people anywhere on time, but still.)

* Fire alarms. (I know they serve an important purpose here, but I can use a break from random fire alarms at least once a day!)

* No clean towels! (My only complain about my lodgings. I still want to take my room home!)

There they are. Nothing too major. London, I love you. But that doesn't mean I always have to like you. If you were being honest, you would agree I drive you crazy too! We always have next time to do it better!


  1. Lack of Vegetables?? Go to a Supermarket, you stupid fucking American slag.

  2. Wow, they really are aggressive!!


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